Happy Blursday everyone!
Maybe you’ve heard that pandemic lingo before but I just learned about it and it made me smile and we all need as much of those as possible now. How about this one for a smile: How does the moon get a haircut?
Eclipse it.
Funny, right? Maybe, maybe not. When I texted this to my mother she replied that we must all be getting tired.
I hope this finds you well and feeling resilient as we continue to navigate our way through this unprecedented time. I confess, the continued uncertainty of life is wreaking havoc with my nervous system. Depending on the day, or even hour, I’m finding myself swaying between feeling like I might be having a panic attack to feeling mildly depressed—with just a wee bit of irritability in between. I know I would be even more of a mess if I didn’t have a yoga practice but if I’m honest, I’m finding it harder to get on the mat for my own practice and when I do it’s harder to settle into any sense of stillness and quiet.
My resistance to getting quiet is palpable. I know I don’t want to face the discomfort that I’m feeling. I can physically feel my fear and anxiety about it. I tell myself things like, “Just let yourself be as you are. It’s the resistance to that which creates your suffering.” I share that with you in my classes too and it is very true. But somewhere inside of me I have a story going on about how I know better anyway and can just bypass the feelings.
The funny thing about being someone (who is a perfectionist like me) that spends a lot of time in this field is that we run the risk of creating this mythology that the more “spiritually evolved” we are, the more we get to pick and choose the experience we have. Our egos decide that we get a pass on discomfort because, we’re beyond that and “we know all the tricks of the trade to keep us on an even keel and totally chill.”
“HA!” says my nervous system. “You are in this human form and it is built to protect itself and survive and this shit right now is scary and you don’t like it.” As one of my favorite’s Brooke Thomas of Bliss + Grit podcast says, “We are divine in these mammally bodies with these mammally nervous systems.”
So how do I work with that reality? Well, up until today, I’ve been practicing less consistently, not journaling, taking lots of walks and doing jigsaw puzzles while listening to murder mystery audiobooks. I’ll probably continue to do all that but now that I’m calling myself out to the world, I’m going to own it and go get on my mat. I’ll try to get still listen and to hold space for myself to feel ALL the feels without prescription. I’ll hope that what doesn’t kill me will make me stronger—or at least ease my soul for a moment. I am experienced at this enough to know that me and my nervous system need that quiet time together to get on the same page again. Sometimes it just has to remind me—with discomfort. What a bloody beautiful cycle! (Did I mention the murder mystery audiobooks tend to be British and Irish?)
The other thing I’m getting clearer on is that we need community now more than ever. To stay resilient—to survive, we need to be connecting with people who we can talk to about all of it and what it means. About what’s changing for the worst and for the better. About what sucks for you and also what makes you hopeful. About how we’re coping with the duality of everything and how that has never been more in our faces than right now and is making us a little crazy.
Speaking of community, I can’t tell you how grateful I am for each of you! For your support of me and all the yoga studios that are offering online classes and your willingness to try a new platform for practicing together and to keep your practices alive. It’s been a great learning process and I continue to explore and evolve how to provide a safe space where people feel connected while they practice.
Starting next week, I’m going to teach my Monday morning Gentle yoga and my Wednesday evening Yin yoga classes with verbal instruction rather than practicing while teaching. Students will be invited to keep their videos on (this is optional of course). Students will be able to ask questions and I’ll answer in real time. I will be able to cue to what I am seeing. I look forward to your feedback about how that feels for you.
As of now, I’ll be continuing my online classes through my website and with Yoga Roots through mid-May. I’ll play it by ear after that as things unfold and change and we figure out together how to come out of quarantine safely.
I’ve been so happy to offer free classes to Essential workers and to offer practices that I know can be helpful to keeping you and them safe and healthy. Thank you to those that are joining me in class! I will continue to do that as well so please share with your Essential worker friends and colleagues. They can use the code ESSENTIAL when they register for class.
If you are feeling some anxiety and depression or even new experiences of chronic pain as a result of changing your movement patterns, there are specific yoga, breathing, and meditation practices I can share with you in a one-to-one session that can be really helpful. Online private yoga sessions can also be a valuable way to educate yourself on how stay grounded in your own body and what it needs as you try new yoga classes with new teachers. I love working one-to-one with people and my clients who have tried online support are happy with the results:
“I was relieved to know Jen could meet me online to practice yoga virtually. I've benefited tremendously from keeping a consistent practice with her. It's been deeply healing to have Jen's presence and guidance - even from afar. I highly recommend you try one of these sessions!” – Yoga Grace client
Stay well, be real, be kind! We’re all in this together!
Subham Astu (only good things),
Jen
